I went to the library and it turns out that someone reserved the book online and it was sitting all pretty on the 'reserve' shelf, waiting for them. The head librarian proceeded to take pity on me and show me how to use the online catalog.
I've only been using library online catalogs since BEFORE THIS LIBRARY HAD AN ONLINE CATALOG. So mad.
Also I missed my stop because I had to know what happens next. Screwed up my whole afternoon. (And is Glenda a bitch, or what.)